Confession of a Selfish Love
Updated: Dec 5, 2022
For too long my heart's attitude towards a gift of Loving salvation has been founded on a revolving purpose of what “I get”. For too long it has been placed solely on me going to Heaven while lacking a commitment to living a life that reflects Heaven on earth. For too long I have praised Jesus for dying on the cross with an attitude of it excuses me of a requirement of dying to myself. I have thanked Jesus for being an example of obeying God's truth in the moments of evil's temptation with an attitude of it's ok if I don't because He understands it's hard. For too long I have thanked Jesus for paying my ransom with a lack of commitment to leaving the life He died to save me from. For too long I have believed that accepting salvation is based on a truth of what I get instead of a truth of who I am meant to be. For too long have I made my salvation about the ease of five words, “Jesus come into my heart” while denying the words of “Not my will, but Your will be done.” For too long I have secretly said in my Heart, “Thank you Jesus for loving me so that I don't have to Love you back.”
“If you love me, you will obey me.”
John 14:15
I have for too long envisioned standing at the entrance of Heaven as if standing outside a secret club in which all that is needed to enter is the secret password, “Jesus did it.” Like a spoiled selfish child I will stand before God just as I lived on earth presuming that what I choose to do is secondary to what I get. For too long I have claimed with my words that Love is a good foundation while allowing the urges of my selfish frustrations to pave the path for justifying more selfishness. There have been enough empty words of Love on these lips.
The Kingdom of God is not based on talk, but in power.
1 Corinthians 4:20
It is now the time to accept God's Love in my life by imitating its likeness. It is time to be as loyal to Love as it has been to me. It is time to believe in Jesus by following Jesus. I no longer lean on my words that say I know God, rather I hope it is you that says I know God because of the Power of Love that flows through me to you. Where there was once a person who was driven by the satisfaction of my selfishness I pray you now see a person who is driven by a commitment to following a Love for God wherever it may lead.
As we continue to live for Jesus, I think the words repeated in this devotion “For too long” will and should be repeated each new year and each new season. The reflections on what needs to change and where we continue to take a more active pursuit of living for Christ will be different, but the sentiment of “For too long” will continue. God willing!